Jeff RossIt’s spoiled.
Jeff RossIt’s spoiled.
Jeff RossJump in your car, drive into the city,
Buy a jug of m*** for your nauseated kitty.
Jeff Ross(I posted the parody, and then I thought I ought to try to format it better, only to have the edited version not post; I ended up having to put my original formatting, plus add an extra line into the intro before the parody would post and not be withheld as a “duplicate post”.)
Jeff RossIn the most recent F.A.C.E. Skype call, Joshua requested a parody of the VeggieTales silly song “Oh, Where Is My Hairbrush” entitled “Oh, Where Is The Aux Cable”. This is my attempt to fulfill that request. I did my best to mirror the original, but I did end up adding a few extra syllables into the parody.
Narrator: “And now it’s time for silly songs with Kristen,
The part of the show where Kristen comes out and sings a silly song.
Our curtain opens as Kristen, having just finished her morning scroll, is searching for her podcast.
Having no success, Kristen cries out:”
Kristen: “Oh, where’s the Aux Cable?
Oh where’s the Aux Cable?
Oh, where, oh, where, oh, where, oh, where, oh, where, oh, where, oh, where, oh where oh, where…
Is the Aux Cable?”
Narrator: “Having heard her cry, Dawn Glanz enters the scene.
Shocked and slightly embarrassed at the sight of Kristen wearing headphones, Dawn regains her composure and reports:” Dawn: “I think I saw the podcast online!”
Kristen: “Online’s the Aux Cable.
Online’s the Aux Cable.
Online, Online, oh, fine, online, oh, fine, oh, fine, online, online, online…
Is the Aux Cable!”
Narrator: “Having heard her joyous proclamation, Josiah the Carrot Stick enters the scene.
Shocked and slightly embarrassed at the sight of Kristen wearing headphones, Josiah regains his composure and comments:”
Josiah: “Why do you need a podcast? You don’t have any time!”
Narrator: “Kristen is taken aback; The thought had never occurred to her.
No time? What will this mean?
What will become of her?
What will become of her podcast?
Kristen wonders:”
Kristen: “No time for my podcast.
No time for my podcast.
No time, no time, not fine, no time, no time, no time, not fine, online, no time…
For my podcast!”
Narrator: “Having heard her wonderings, Awkward Potato enters the scene.
Shocked and slightly embarrassed at the sight of Kristen wearing headphones, AP regains her composure and confesses:”
AP: “Kristen, that fun podcast of yours…
Well, you never hear it, you don’t really need it, so, well, I’m sorry; I didn’t know.
But I gave it to the P.U.N. – ’cause he has time!”
Narrator: “Feeling a deep sense of loss, Kristen stumbles back and laments:”
Kristen: “Not fair! Oh, my podcast.
Not fair! My poor podcast.
Not fair, not fair, nightmare, not fair, nowhere, nightmare, not fair, not fair, not fair!
My little podcast!”
Narrator: “Having heard her lament, Joshua enters the scene.
Himself wearing headphones, both Kristen and Joshua are shocked and slightly embarrassed at the sight of…each other.
But recognizing Kristen’s generosity, the P.U.N. is thankful:”
Joshua: “Thanks for the podcast.”
Narrator: “Yes, good has been done here.
The P.U.N. exits the scene.
Kristen smiles, but, still feeling an emotional attachment for the podcast, calls out:”
Kristen: “Take care of the Aux Cable.
Take care, oh the Aux Cable.
Take care, take care, don’t dare not care, take care, nice hair, no fair, take care, take care…
Of the Aux Cable.”
Narrator: “The end!”
rousing ovation
Jeff RossIn case you were wanting to watch cats “race”:
Jeff RossI just finished listening to the podcast, Troy; y’all went into much more depth than Josh & Kevin went, and I enjoyed listening to it. 
Jeff RossThursday, May 3, 2018, is the National Day of Prayer in the United States for this calendar year. If you wanted an extra opportunity to pray, now you have one.
Jeff RossI haven’t seen Infinity War either, but I did listen to the Inner Tube’s spoiler-filled review of it, so I’ll happily listen to Troy and Gabe talk about it as soon as I can.
Jeff RossIn case you were wondering about the history of “Blimey Cow” for some reason or another:
Jeff RossNo, no Manalive, we’re not breaking into a building; IKEA is simply a store in a building that has furniture that you can build and subsequently break…
Manalive?
MANALIVE!
Alarms blare and cops approach the building where Manalive and the not-so-lonely cat have managed to enter after hours; the cat escapes, but Manalive is arrested.
*sigh* I really wish that he hadn’t grabbed a ski mask that covered his ears.
*bails Manalive out of jail after hours of negotiations*
*uses ASL to convince Manalive to take off the ski mask*
Good news: I’ve convinced both Ikea and the police to not press charges against you, Manalive. You are free to go!
Bad news: the cat was caught two states over in a doughnut shop robbery. Misidentified as the legendary “Cat Burglar”, he’s facing 10-20 years in prison, even though the cat claims circumstantial evidence. You have been summoned by the defense to testify about his character. Here’s your subpoena.
Jeff RossDon’t you have to put together the furniture you buy from Ikea? Wouldn’t that make it “Building News” or “Fixing News” rather than “Breaking News”?
Jeff RossBROOKE-ING NEWS: The Not-Forum is officially unTingled and unTongled. Enjoy the moments of poignant recent posts while you can.
Jeff RossThere was a call that lasted from April 27, 2018 to April 28, 2018, a six-hour call. Appearances were made by Jeff Ross, Franklin, Joshua S., Dawn, Masøn M., Josiah the Carrot Stick, AuxCableAngie, Sarah Iddings, Bekah, and Awkward Potato.
Notable moments in the call included software that teaches typing & flying trains, ASMR dish-drying with Masøn, the “doughnut earth theory” discussion, Franklin’s newly acquired old books, an I.C.E. meeting, the horror and relief when Bekah spilled her grandmother’s ashes but then successfully put them back, and AP discussing her college decision process (very interesting to hear about it from a potato’s point of view).
Jeff RossI have several ideas who might be behind the Tongle account, as there is a finite number of individuals who would have the desire to attempt a Not-Forum takeover and actually act upon that desire. I’m 90% confident that Tongle is feminine.
Jeff Ross#thatmomentwhen you should be careful what you wish for…
Jeff RossI wonder if Nintendo at E3 gave any new information that could be added to this thread…
Jeff RossMother’s Day is just a fortnight away…
Jeff RossI thought this video was already on this thread, but I guess not. Time to rectify that situation:
Jeff RossIn case you were wondering about the history of the “dab” for some reason or another:
Jeff RossGreetings, Tongle! You are most welcome to reveal your identity in this thread…or at least some other things about you (beyond your fondness for posting “Pickle”).
Jeff RossI’m curious which conspiracy theories exist with Tongle as their basis.
Jeff RossYes, quite the array.
Jeff RossI’m not sure if that’s a great name for a cat or not.
Jeff RossI wonder whether anything became of the “Aux Farm” that Kristen said she was working on with Matthew on page 24 of this thread.
Jeff RossBREAKING: Tongle pulled a Kristen.
Jeff Ross#thatmomentwhen you forgot to put #thatmomentwhen before your previous #thatmomentwhen post so you make up for it by integrating #thatmomentwhen excessively into a subsequent #thatmomentwhen post
Jeff Ross#thatmomentwhen you wonder if anyone will make the mistake of looking up page 13 of this thread on mobile…
Jeff Ross#thatmomentwhen a punderful post is overlooked because of an irrelevant response…
Jeff RossYou might find yourself in a pickle…if you don’t wear a helmet when skateboarding.
Hopefully no one will have to post a #thatmomentwhen based upon such a situation.
