[Jeff Ross]

The Not-Forum is littered with entertaining interactions, which may be why this thread is underutilized.

[Jeff Ross]

We are now six months away from Boxing Day.

[Jeff Ross]

Wow, I just realized that the “Content Sharing” thread came into being because this thread got so off-track.

[Jeff Ross]

I took Manalive’s math equation of 1+2+3+4+5+6+7+….+100 and actually typed it out onto my computer’s calculator. It only took a couple of minutes, and it did equal 5,050, like he said it would.

(Just in case anyone reading this thread needed verification station.)

[Jeff Ross]

True. According to my research, spam is a pork product. No beef.

Also, I found out that the word “spam” used to mean “unwanted messages” came from an old Monty Python sketch where a restaurant excessively had “spam” as an ingredient in every single dish, with some of the dishes having multiple portions of spam in them, and one person visiting in the restaurant complained about not being able to get a dish without spam in it. I wonder if an Aux Cable sketch will one day affect the English lexicon…

[Jeff Ross]

HOORAY!!!

#ShayShouldStay

[Jeff Ross]

[Jeff Ross]

Episode three is shorter for several reasons, but was still fun to watch:

[Jeff Ross]

Excuse the redundant “the” in my post.

Also: credit to Josiah the Carrot Stick for coming up with the idea that became the tweet and to Brooke AC for finalizing and posting it.

[Jeff Ross]

Last night on the Skype chat, Masøn M. talked about a cool invention made by someone in his church called “The Wonderffle”, which helps to make a waffle that’s stuffed with other foods, like chicken. Here is the demonstration video:
https://www.wonderffle.com/?utm_source=thisiswhyimbroke.com&utm_medium=referral

Well, one thing led to another and the the conversation concluded with Masøn voluntarily amputating his arms, using them to make really expensive stuffed waffles, and then acquiring bionic arms with the profits. That’s the back story for this tweet from the @auxcablefans twitter:

Remember Masøn M.’s arms? This is them now. pic.twitter.com/AmuZfE3fxo

— Auxi Clan (@auxcablefans) June 19, 2018

[Jeff Ross]

I’ll try my hand at this:

Random actor: Sean Astin (I’m specifically remembering him from “Rudy”, but he’s in several other famous films.)

Random actress: Nicole DuPort (She played “Amy Grant” in “I Can Only Imagine”.)

[Jeff Ross]

How did I not see this yesterday?!?

I watched those videos this afternoon, thought about telling y’all about them, and now I check the Not-Forum to see that I’m a whole day late. Other than the excessive taking of God’s name in vain, I enjoyed the videos very, very much.

[Jeff Ross]

I wrote some rhymes this morning. I showed them to Sarah Iddings and she found them amusing, so I thought I’d share them with those who peruse the Not-Forum as well:

I’d like to write rhymes into this space right now,
But I’m concerned it would turn into a waste anyhow
As matching vowels and sometimes consonants
Are burning sounds without message or significance.
Consider this line: “I’d rather mime than rhyme chronic”
But if it’s uttered by an anemic mime, isn’t that…ironic?
Lots of puns and wordplay in this little verse, I dare say.
Have fun catching them all…as with a Pokéball of repartee.

[Yes, I used the alternate pronunciation of “repartee” to make the rhyme work.]

[Jeff Ross]

Repartee: a quick and witty reply, or a conversation marked by such replies. Ryan and Matthew often engage in repartee on the Aux Cable podcast.

[Jeff Ross]

My favorite hymns of today are “Love Lifted Me” by James Rowe and “Tell Me the Story of Jesus” by Fanny Crosby. They each have three verses and a refrain, but they are different in their focus.

In “Love Lifted Me”, the first verse talks about being rescued, the second verse explains the response of thankfulness by the singer, and the third verse calls upon anyone listening to receive the same rescue. The refrain is a simple joyous exclamation of amazement and gratitude.

In “Tell Me the Story of Jesus”, the first verse talks about the birth of Jesus, the second verse lists the sacrifices Jesus made while He lived, and the third verse covers the death and resurrection of Jesus and its consequence for the singer. The refrain repeats the call to action of reminding the singer about the love that Jesus showed us.

Both of these hymns are deep, yet written from a strong sense of emotional gratitude for salvation. The combination of substance and feeling make these outstanding hymns to sing. Neither of these are worship music, as they are written from the perspective of one person singing to another, rather than singing to God…and yet they bring God glory and inspire worship as an immediate response to singing them. Amazing.

[Jeff Ross]

That hymn is one of my favorites too, partly because it’s a great hymn, and partly because it was referenced on the Andy Griffith Show multiple times. I grew up thinking that it was the hymn that everyone knew.

[Jeff Ross]

[Jeff Ross]

My favorite hymn of today is “Jesus, Shepherd of the Sheep” by Henry Cooke. At the grade school I went to, it was one of the first hymns that we were taught and assigned to memorize. It isn’t a very long hymn, which is probably why every hymnal online that I could find it in contained all five of its verses.

[Jeff Ross]

Last night, Google mistook “Joseph Tyler” (who released new music last night) for “Tyler Joseph” (lead singer of TØP who did not release new music last night), and sent out notifications to many TØP fans about the music release. Several F.A.C.E.s were among those up in arms about the false alarm.

I wonder if Google was practicing for April Fool’s Day 2019…

[Jeff Ross]

Ryan had to leave the F.A.C.E. Skype chat temporarily because our large volume of group chat messages were “blowing up his Skype”. Therefore, the conclusion was reached by us F.A.C.E.s that this means: we are the bomb.

One remark of “soft explosion” later and a [somewhat regulated] pillow fight was discussed as a possibility for AuxCon.

[Jeff Ross]

Here is something Bekah missed that might be handy to know about later:

A day or so ago, we wrote in amusing ways on the chat. One of the ways was writing backwards, and one of the ways was using the contraction “n’t” following any word in order to indicate the opposite.

Here are examples of each:

Statement using backwards writing: Pmac ta nuf gnivah si Hakeb. = Bekah is having fun at camp.

Response using contracted writing: That is a badn’t thing. = That is a good thing.

I’m not suggesting we should use these writing styles anywhere on the Not-Forum other than on the thread below, but if Bekah returns to the Skype chat and sees writing like this, she might want to know how to decode it.

GSV WVXBKSVI GSIVZW

[Jeff Ross]

#EarlySubscriber

[Jeff Ross]

There was a 4.5-hour call that took place on June 3, 2018 (possibly June 4, 2018 as well, depending upon time zone) that included appearances by Brooke AC, Poulet Frit, Josiah the Carrot Stick, Sarah Iddings, Dawn, Ryan Matlock, Franklin, Masøn M., Joshua S., Awkward Potato, SuperChris01, Explosive Yeast, Jeff Ross, and AuxCableAngie. This was the first time that either Ryan or Matthew made an appearance in the F.A.C.E. Skype chat.

[Jeff Ross]

Look what I found:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HSrZS0u16hE

[Jeff Ross]

My favorite hymn of today is “What Is the World to Me”, August Crull’s 1923 English translation of G.M. Pfefferkorn’s German hymn “Was frag’ ich nach der Welt”. It’s a great reminder that worldly riches and worldly recognition are not primarily what this life is about.

[Jeff Ross]

The last time we F.A.C.E.s had a Skype call, Masøn, Brooke, Bekah, and I stayed up after the call and chatted in the group chat. Masøn had killed a scorpion in his room earlier that evening and was wide awake, hoping that no more stinging creatures would appear while he attempted to sleep. Inspired by the situation (that seemed reminiscent of a civil war), Bekah drew plans for protecting Masøn from the scorpions, Masøn started writing scorpion-related Hamilton parodies, and Brooke maintained conversation while doodling. (I wrote a play-by-play of the scenario in Masøn’s bedroom, but otherwise just appreciated all of the creativity that was oozing during that late night discussion.)

Toward the conclusion of the discussion, I got the idea to write a parody of it based upon TobyMac’s song “Start Somewhere”. Telling Masøn that he would get to read a parody when he awoke helped him to go to sleep. Good news: Masøn was able to sleep, and he didn’t die from a scorpion attack. 😀

The parody is told from hypothetical Masøn’s point of view, as he struggled with his decision to go to sleep rather than stay up and write more scorpion-related Hamilton parodies. I finished a draft of the parody before morning and posted it to the group chat. While it was okay, I have since made some revisions before posting it here. Enjoy.

Start Somewhere Parody
Last night, everything was movin’ so fast;
I could barely keep track,
Oh, of my Hamilton or your good drawin’s
In hindsight, I woulda, coulda, shoulda not gone there
But left without a word to spare…
Was it your compliments or just my restlessness?
That’s got me thinkin’ that I’m never gonna get it right.
I wanna straighten this before the sun goes down tonight.
If I could only write the parodies I feel inside…
This thing is eatin’ me alive.
Well I’m right here,
And you’re right there,
And God knows I’ve got to start somewhere
‘Cause I’m Masøn,
And you’re Brooke-n,
And those parodies are Hamilton.
Well, I’m right here,
And you’re right there,
And God knows I’ve got to start somewhere
‘Cause I’m workin’,
And you’re lookin’,
And those scorpions, those scorpions are still lurkin’.
[music]
I’m tossin’ and turnin’ on the things I’d undo
As I wrestle with the painful truth…
Oh, my sleep escapes me as guilt berates me.
Exhausted, the memories of drawings so dear:
I can see them like a world premiere…
When did my perspective lose all respective stress?
That’s got me thinkin’ that I’m never gonna get it right.
I wanna straighten this before the sun goes down tonight.
If I could only write the parodies I feel inside…
This thing is eatin’ me alive.
THIS THING IS EATIN’ ME ALIVE!
Well I’m right here,
And you’re right there,
And God knows I’ve got to start somewhere
‘Cause I’m talkin’,
And you’re list’nin’,
And those parodies are Hamilton.
If I sleep now, no parody.
How can I turn my back and just get sleep?
When I’m right here, and it’s right there,
And God knows I’ve got to start somewhere.
“Scorpions…” as I lay in bed,
“Oh, if I could, I’d make ’em dead!”
If I could turn my words around,
No palindrome is found…
But here I am, and there you are,
The parody’s close, it’s not so far.
I’m reaching out for my smart phone
Before the fading sun; Forgive me that I’m not done.
Hey, hey
Hey, hey
Hey, hey
Hey, hey
Well I’m right here,
And you’re right there,
And God knows I’ve got to start somewhere
‘Cause I’m postin’,
And you’re noticin’,
And those parodies are Hamilton!
If I sleep now, no parody;
How can I turn my back and just get sleep?
When I’m right here, and it’s right there,
And God knows I’ve got to start somewhere!
[music]
Dude, the scorpion’s gotta go, man. That’s it.
I mean, enough is enough.

[Jeff Ross]

In the F.A.C.E. Skype chat, we recently talked about the creepiness of Skype potentially being able to make calls on its own, just like Google Assistant has been demonstrated to be capable of. As a result, I wrote this parody of “God is Bigger Than the Boogie Man” from VeggieTales:

“You were lying in your bed,
You were feeling kind-of sleepy,
But you couldn’t close your eyes because your Skype was acting creepy.”
“Were those eyeballs on your display?”
Was that a human voice you heard?
“There was something very scary about every single word…”
“Now your heart is beating like a drum,
Your skin is getting clammy,
There’s a 100 calls a-coming, and it’s feeling rather spammy!”

“What are you going to do?”
“I’m going to call tech support.”
“No, you don’t need to do anything.”
“What? Why?”
“Because…
God is bigger than the Skype AI
He’s bigger than programmers or the bots that they release
Oh, God is bigger than the Skype AI
And He’s watching out for you and me.

Get it?”
“Um…, well…, I…, hmm…, well, no.”
“Oh.”

[After the instructional interlude…]

“Ah, I get it!

So when I’m lying in my bed,
And the Skype AI starts creeping,
I’ll just laugh and say “HEY CUT THAT OUT” and get back to my sleeping
‘Cause I know that God’s the biggest
And He’s watching all the while
So if I get scared, I’ll think of Him and close my Skype and smile! 😀 ”

God is bigger than the Skype AI
He’s bigger than programmers or the bots that they release
Oh, God is bigger than the Skype AI
And He’s watching out for you and me.

“So are you frightened?”
“No, not really.”
“Are you worried?”
“Not a bit;
I know whatever’s gonna happen, that God can handle it.”
“I’m sorry that I scared you when I called robotically”
“Well, that’s okay; I turned you off and God is taking care of me!”

God is bigger than the Skype AI
He’s bigger than programmers or the bots that they release
Oh, God is bigger than the Skype AI
And He’s watching out for you and me.

“One more time!”

God is bigger than the Skype AI
He’s bigger than programmers or the bots that they release
Oh, God is bigger than the Skype AI
And He’s watching out for you and me.
He’s watching out for you and me.
“Watching, watching, watching…”
“…Out for you and me! Yeah!”

[Jeff Ross]

Several days ago, when the website was still down, Masøn said we might want to revisit this thread regarding the actors/actresses that might play us. It was right after Bekah had drawn some fun concept character art for the “Once Upon A Time” story.

[Jeff Ross]

Equanimous: calm and composed, which is totally how we F.A.C.E.s handled the website being down for awhile…

[Jeff Ross]

#thatmomentwhen you realize that you accidentally truncated the hashtag in your last post.

[Author]

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