riseofthekumquat“Ryan has one middle name. Matthew has two.”
Then Matthew has no middle names. He has a space.
riseofthekumquatHaikus can be fun
But they don’t always make sense
Refridgerator
riseofthekumquatThis was basically just a bundle of complaints that I had in general that I just threw out, not really directing it at anyone in particular, just generally frustrated at some things that I saw recently online. I don’t even have a problem with impact font, it’s just one of a bunch of things where people outside of internet culture are like “yeah, that’s what a meme is, right?”
Here are two particularly awful examples of old media trying to interest “the kids” with some “dank maymays”
riseofthekumquatAnd there’s no way to delete threads. Fantastic.
riseofthekumquatI hadn’t checked the Instagram page recently, I was mostly thinking of the late episode memes from about a month ago, and I don’t know where the impact rant came from. They’ve definitely picked up in quality over the past couple of posts, so let’s keep that going.
riseofthekumquat“We are the only the only living things that drinks milk after being weened.”
We’re the only living things that invented cookies. Cows would be trying to milk themselves if they knew how to bake up a batch of chocolate chip cookies.
riseofthekumquatYeah, that was bad
riseofthekumquat“Hey girl, are you an empty store shelf? Cause I wanna stalk you.”
*Don’t break eye contact*
riseofthekumquatI mean, it makes sense. That’s what they did in Dawn Of The Dead.
You just need to make sure that you know your way around the store, you know where all the exits are, and you can position yourself in a high-up location.
riseofthekumquatI’m a college student, I actually got into a furious argument in the middle of class about how the first three seasons of Spongebob Squarepants are brilliant and still hold up today.
riseofthekumquatFor example, a Blimey Cow fan podcast would have an audience limited to those who watch Blimey Cow.
riseofthekumquatI fully understand the idea of wanting perceived injustices to be resolved at the state rather than nationally. That was my issue with Roe v Wade in the first place, the idea of nine unelected officials deciding a decades-long moral debate is ludicrous. State laws should, in general, be more specific than national laws because it’s closer to the people.
That being said, if the national government is going to exist then the national government should be consistent.
Murder is illegal nationwide.
Murder is defined as the killing of another human being.
If a pregnant woman is killed in a car accident, the other driver involved is charged with double homicide.
And yet abortion is still legal and even considered a right by some people.
At the end of the day, I’m technically not even asking for the national government to abolish abortion on the national level. I’m asking for them to call a spade a spade. Regardless of convenience or feelings abortion is murder. With all that in mind the government is more than welcome to reevaluate how it looks at murder, I just want all of the lying and cognitive dissonance to stop.
riseofthekumquatWhat’s blue and white and swings through the jungle?
A fridge in a denim jacket
riseofthekumquatA blind man walks into a bar.
“Wow, are you blind?” The bartender asks.
“Yes” he says.
riseofthekumquatHey, thanks. I appreciate it.
riseofthekumquatWhy was the 11 afraid of 12?
Because the twelve thirteen fourteen.
riseofthekumquatWhy shouldn’t you play poker with a plumber?
Because your wife said if you gamble the rent away again, she’s going to leave you. And I think she’s serious this time.
riseofthekumquatWhy didn’t the skeleton go to the prom?
Because he was fat, ugly, and nobody liked him.
riseofthekumquatArrrrrrrrr! What be a pirate’s favorite crime?
Piracy.
riseofthekumquatSame as my username: Rise Of The Kumquat. I think it would be more on the Avengers side of the language spectrum. I censored out any F-bombs in the things that I review, but I can think of two distinct short film reviews where someone says a***hole. Most likely somewhere between TV-PG and TV-14.
riseofthekumquatI would say me, but I review some stuff with bad language on occasion.
riseofthekumquatIf you guys wanted to continue the long term planning, I just started up another thread.
riseofthekumquatI’m a college student in California, so I don’t see any opportunity where I’d be able to meet in real life. Sorry if that’s a complete dealbreaker, would love to support this idea though.
riseofthekumquatFilm Production
riseofthekumquatNot to completely put down the fancast idea, but Blimey Cow is a 400,000+ YouTube channel that has been making videos consistently since 2011. They have a massive audience that would be interested in talking about their videos on a weekly basis. making an Aux Cable fancast would be marketing to a nitche within a nitche. I’m completely onboard with starting a podcast, but it would need to be able to stand on its own at least a little bit.
And my only experience editing audio is when I sent in that question to The Inner Tube, where I filmed myself and converted it to audio format, but that came out fairly decent.
riseofthekumquat“If we ask nicely”
*60 comments earlier*
“AND THEN WE’RE GOING TO KIDNAP THEM AND STICK A VIRUS IN THEIR COMPUTER AND-“
riseofthekumquatSo do any of you guys have experience with content creation?
riseofthekumquatSo is this actually happening?
riseofthekumquatTheoretically, you could just edit your audio in a video editing program and then import it into something like Garageband. The real issues are recording the audio and then getting your podcast onto a platform.
riseofthekumquatIf anyone else can think of any other places where he’s said anything in the lyrics, comment below (probably shouldn’t be that hard to get a clip of him saying “yep”)
