I am very fond of reading stupid pickup lines. They make me smile.
“Here you go, some hot tea…because that’s what you are, a hottie”
“You must be the square root of -1, because you can’t be real”
“Dang, girl, are you my appendix because I don’t understand how you work, but I have this feeling in my stomach that makes me wanna take you out.”
“Are you a parking ticket? Cuz you have fine written all over you”
“Were you forged by Sauron? Because, baby, you are precious”
“You must be the square root of 2, because I feel irrational around you”
(So far this is just me reciting pickup lines)
“Shadows will scream that you’re alone? Let’s change that”
WHY DO I LOVE THAT?!?!?!
“Is it hot in here, or is that just the Holy Spirit burning inside you?”
“I like your last name, can I have it?
“This may be cheesy, but I think you’re grate”
“Hey girl, the only thing I’d want to change about you, is your last name”
Grow a beard for her as a metaphor and say, “Hey, like my beard, you’re growing on me.”
Meet her for a walk on a real hot day and say, “I like you a great degree.”
Take her on a date skipping stones and casually remark about how much it rocks.
Tell her about how much you’re having a ball while you both watch the Red Sox.
Buy her ice cream and say, “Hey, like this ice cream, you sure are sweet!”
Cook her some steak and say, “I don’t know who I’d be if we didn’t meet!”
“Hey, are you Mola Ram? Cause you’ve stolen my heart”
I was really excited when the Red Sox came up in that song…
“Hey girl, are you an empty store shelf? Cause I wanna stalk you.”
*Don’t break eye contact*
Yeah, that was bad
“You are hotter than the bottom of my laptop”
“Baby, if you were words on a page, you’d be what they call fine print”
My favorite pickup line of all time:
“Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a gun, get in the van”
Hey, what’s that wire on the ground? It seems to be hanging from that pole. I’m going to grab it.
*proceeds to stupidly pick-up line*
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