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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
Because it was dead.
What do you call a black guy in space?
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
She had no arms
A Christian, a Jew, and a Muslim walk into a bar.
What a beautiful showcase of religious tolerance.
What’s the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheel chair
(Such a mean “joke”)
Friends are a lot like trees.
They fall down when you hit them with an axe multiple times.
Why did Timmy fall off his bike?
Because his dad threw a chair at him
What do an orange and a bicycle have in common?
Handlebars (well, except for the orange)
Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes.
What’s big, yellow, and can’t swim?
A bus full of children…
Friends are like bananas, if you peel their skin and eat them, they die.
A horse walks into a bar.
Noticing the danger in the situation, everyone leaves in a calm fashion while the owner calls animal control.
How do you confuse a blonde?
Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.
“Why the long face?” the bartender asks.
The horse doesn’t respond.
You know what they say…words
Because it’s a horse.
(May I just say, I find anti jokes hilarious. And yours are on point)
(That Timmy falling off his bike one was legitimately my favorite)
How do you stop a clown from smiling?
Hit him with an axe.
What’s green and has wheels?
Grass (I lied about the wheels)
Five little monkey’s jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said,
“I’m calling Child Protective Services”
Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear
Fuzzy wuzzy had no hair
So he got hypothermia and died.
“The police who?”
“Ma’am I’m sorry to tell you this, but there’s been an accident…”
(I laughed so hard…I’m a bad person!!)
Why did Bobby drop is ice cream?
He was hit by a bus
Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a gun, get in the van
What’s white and rhymes with Dr. Dre?
Why am I laughing so hard? Because this thread is funny.
What’s white and can’t jump?
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