[Manalive Smith]

In this theoretical future I’m already living on the moon, so I’m not too worried.

[Manalive Smith]

#thatmomentwhen You envy Kristen for her fried chicken and french fries.

[Manalive Smith]

The sooner you start walking, the sooner we can all meet each other.

[Manalive Smith]

Auxcon

Where: A recently specified location in Indiana
When: As soon as Josiah gets there

[Manalive Smith]

The only other alternative I can think of is to start walking toward Indiana now.

Auxcon
Where: an as yet unspecified location in Indiana
When: as soon as Josiah gets there

I feel like we’ve got everything planned at this point.

[Manalive Smith]

My first thought is portkey, unless of course you’ve already passed your apparition exam. If that doesn’t work out you will be arriving by dragon. The dragon won’t be happy, and you won’t be happy, but you’ll get to Indiana.

[Manalive Smith]

I almost offered to pick up Carrot for Auxcon, and then I remembered just how far away New England is. Rest assured however that when it happens we will find a way to get you there.

[Manalive Smith]

To #7562, I wasn’t aware that it did exist. The new draft is loads better. I’m still holding out hope that the final draft will have a happy ending, but the survivor has much more personality in this version. The way you captured their combination of guilt and relief was good, we actually got a sense of their history. Now I’m feeling conflicted. Why did you have to get all specific about knives and abdomens? I think for the purposes of this story she is evil and she needs to be killed, but in reality all life is sacred, and that makes it hard.

[Manalive Smith]

But I don’t intend to tell you what to do with either your story or your sleep schedule.

[Manalive Smith]

Sounds good. Judging by the fact that it’s eleven here, you might want to get some sleep soon.

[Manalive Smith]

P.P.S I should have checked before posting. I wrote don’t twice in the last postscript.

[Manalive Smith]

I like that. As for the survivor, perhaps he should try exploring other hobbies. If he’s living like that, killing her will only make him feel empty and conflicted. Killing her to save others certainly wouldn’t make him just as bad as she was. It would be destroying an embodiment of evil and it would be just. Perhaps he could find a way to prevent her from harming people without killing her. Killing her to satisfy his own craving for revenge, on the other hand, would make him just as bad as her killing people to satisfy her own cravings. It is the same action in both cases, but his motivation changes everything. If he can’t kill her impartially, he should find someone else who would do it for the right reasons.

P.S. I don’t generally don’t endorse any form of murder, stories are an exception.

[Manalive Smith]

I don’t think it really needs to be answered. How does the plaster of a bedroom wall keep a monster at bay? In every story you have to make some assumptions, but in this case the assumptions work well, because people feel that a bedroom is sacred and because people know that debts must be paid regardless of how you feel about the person you are paying the debt back to.

[Manalive Smith]

*whiny voice* Does the survivor have to be bloodthirsty?

[Manalive Smith]

Glad to help in any way I can. I hope it turns out exceptional.

[Manalive Smith]

Let me know if I’m completely off base here. It would also explain her annoyance that her driver likes to arrive after dark.

[Manalive Smith]

Understood. I can’t say that it’s a very satisfying ending. I’m very happy that you have the darkness as a hero, but at the end we’re left suspended like a rock partway through a fall. I like that she’s scared, but I wish the Lone Survivor could do something more. Here’s my thought. She doesn’t look like a monster. She looks ordinary, she even keeps a regular work schedule, which makes her extraordinary and slightly more disturbing as a monster. Normal monsters live in the dark, in the case of vampires light literally burns them, trolls turn to stone at sunrise. She’s the opposite. She can only exist in the light. I can’t say I’m sure what exposure to darkness would do to her, but I want to see her streetlight flicker, and I want to see the fear in her eyes when it happens.

[Manalive Smith]

I don’t know. I don’t want to leave the story feeling unsatisfied, but I’m happy to read anything you’ve got.

[Manalive Smith]

Understood. It took me an extra second to catch the perspective shift in the third part. After the first part I assumed the Lady was subordinate to the faceless individual as she has to wait on him. This shifts that around, he’s serving her. My thoughts naturally gravitated toward the darkness near the end of the third part. That is really the most fascinating element at this point in the story. The child eating monster is afraid of the dark. She’s staying within a seemingly everyday boundary just like the child (in the child’s case a bedroom, in the Lady’s case the streetlight) to ward off a danger. The real question is why is the darkness a danger to the Lady, is it even worse than she is? Or is the darkness the hero of the story. I prefer the second option, as I’m a sucker for a happy ending.

[Manalive Smith]

Your own plot ideas are keeping you awake at night? I must say that I’m impressed.

[Manalive Smith]

Alone part two would just be terrifying, but by giving us a look inside the Lady’s mind in part one, you have shown your readers that there is more to what’s happening than what we can see. I’m not a fan of horror, but having a child who does not know that this situation is far from normal explain things to your readers calmly is effectively bone chilling.

[Manalive Smith]

I like the change in perspective. I assume the lady in question was narrating the previous installment. Is that correct?

[Manalive Smith]

If your looking to write something vivid, and rather disturbing. You are a success.

[Manalive Smith]

Yes I want part 2!

[Manalive Smith]

In reply to #7507. This is a three way conversation, Awkward, everything you have contributed has been wonderful. No need for either apologies or self deprecating music.

[Manalive Smith]

I almost always use third person past, unless I stumble across a character who has a funny way of looking at things, then I slip into first person past.

[Manalive Smith]

You have intrigued me with the opening, but I don’t understand how you can finish that story with only two more parts.

[Manalive Smith]

So do you always write in the present tense? And if this conversation has gotten confusing, just assume that I want to read everything.

[Manalive Smith]

Wait you posted a short story? I’m going to go back and find it!

[Manalive Smith]

I would also like to read your stories. Please more details.

[Author]

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