Heyo I'm Super Chris

Heyo I'm Super Chris

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Viewing 30 posts - 361 through 390 (of 709 total)
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  • #7501
    AvatarAwkward Potato
    Guest

    That’s pretty much what this is…but more annoying.

    #7502
    AvatarPoulet Frit
    Guest

    True

    #7503
    AvatarManalive Smith
    Participant

    So do you always write in the present tense? And if this conversation has gotten confusing, just assume that I want to read everything.

    #7504
    AvatarManalive Smith
    Participant

    You have intrigued me with the opening, but I don’t understand how you can finish that story with only two more parts.

    #7505
    AvatarAwkward Potato
    Guest

    I usually write in past tense, but I guess I use present sometimes.

    #7506
    AvatarPoulet Frit
    Guest

    I…have tried third person..and I absolutely suck at it!! So, yes, third person. I know it’s more limiting

    #7507
    AvatarAwkward Potato
    Guest

    Oh sorry that was probably for Kristen. Cue the “wah wah wah” music.

    #7508
    AvatarPoulet Frit
    Guest

    And…I tend to always write in present

    #7509
    AvatarPoulet Frit
    Guest

    I can post the next 2 parts. Part 3 needs work, I don’t like how it ends necessarily. It’s far from perfect

    #7510
    AvatarManalive Smith
    Participant

    I almost always use third person past, unless I stumble across a character who has a funny way of looking at things, then I slip into first person past.

    #7511
    AvatarPoulet Frit
    Guest

    You want part 2?
    Part 3 needs help. But I’m willing to post it for constructive criticism

    #7512
    AvatarManalive Smith
    Participant

    In reply to #7507. This is a three way conversation, Awkward, everything you have contributed has been wonderful. No need for either apologies or self deprecating music.

    #7513
    AvatarManalive Smith
    Participant

    Yes I want part 2!

    #7515
    AvatarPoulet Frit
    Guest

    I posted it

    #7516
    AvatarPoulet Frit
    Guest

    …it changes perspective…the goal was to make you question…everything

    #7517
    AvatarPoulet Frit
    Guest

    Yeah, potato!! We care about you too!!

    #7518
    AvatarManalive Smith
    Participant

    If your looking to write something vivid, and rather disturbing. You are a success.

    #7519
    AvatarManalive Smith
    Participant

    I like the change in perspective. I assume the lady in question was narrating the previous installment. Is that correct?

    #7520
    AvatarPoulet Frit
    Guest

    That was the goal. I’m demented

    #7521
    AvatarPoulet Frit
    Guest

    Correct

    #7525
    AvatarManalive Smith
    Participant

    Alone part two would just be terrifying, but by giving us a look inside the Lady’s mind in part one, you have shown your readers that there is more to what’s happening than what we can see. I’m not a fan of horror, but having a child who does not know that this situation is far from normal explain things to your readers calmly is effectively bone chilling.

    #7526
    AvatarPoulet Frit
    Guest

    Thank you. I’m a huge fan of horror and honestly I couldn’t sleep for 2 nights because of part 2. 1 night, because my brain thought of it. And the other night when I finally wrote it down.
    I’m happy to have positive feedback

    #7529
    AvatarPoulet Frit
    Guest

    I take it you may want part 3.
    Warning…there is supposed to be a part 4 that I haven’t been able to come up with yet. Part 3…leaves lose ends. In my opinion

    #7530
    AvatarManalive Smith
    Participant

    Your own plot ideas are keeping you awake at night? I must say that I’m impressed.

    #7532
    AvatarPoulet Frit
    Guest

    Part 4 is supposed to be “The Darkness”…but I can’t find a way to…make it end well

    #7533
    AvatarPoulet Frit
    Guest

    The darkness is supposed to explain…why the Lady is scared

    #7534
    AvatarPoulet Frit
    Guest

    I have written the part 4…I’m just not happy with it at all. I need to rework it. Therefore, you may not get to read that one, yet

    #7535
    AvatarManalive Smith
    Participant

    Understood. It took me an extra second to catch the perspective shift in the third part. After the first part I assumed the Lady was subordinate to the faceless individual as she has to wait on him. This shifts that around, he’s serving her. My thoughts naturally gravitated toward the darkness near the end of the third part. That is really the most fascinating element at this point in the story. The child eating monster is afraid of the dark. She’s staying within a seemingly everyday boundary just like the child (in the child’s case a bedroom, in the Lady’s case the streetlight) to ward off a danger. The real question is why is the darkness a danger to the Lady, is it even worse than she is? Or is the darkness the hero of the story. I prefer the second option, as I’m a sucker for a happy ending.

    #7536
    AvatarPoulet Frit
    Guest

    …should I post my part 4 that i…am not entirely satisfied with?

    #7537
    AvatarManalive Smith
    Participant

    I don’t know. I don’t want to leave the story feeling unsatisfied, but I’m happy to read anything you’ve got.

Viewing 30 posts - 361 through 390 (of 709 total)

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