That’s pretty much what this is…but more annoying.
So do you always write in the present tense? And if this conversation has gotten confusing, just assume that I want to read everything.
You have intrigued me with the opening, but I don’t understand how you can finish that story with only two more parts.
I usually write in past tense, but I guess I use present sometimes.
I…have tried third person..and I absolutely suck at it!! So, yes, third person. I know it’s more limiting
Oh sorry that was probably for Kristen. Cue the “wah wah wah” music.
And…I tend to always write in present
I can post the next 2 parts. Part 3 needs work, I don’t like how it ends necessarily. It’s far from perfect
I almost always use third person past, unless I stumble across a character who has a funny way of looking at things, then I slip into first person past.
You want part 2?
Part 3 needs help. But I’m willing to post it for constructive criticism
In reply to #7507. This is a three way conversation, Awkward, everything you have contributed has been wonderful. No need for either apologies or self deprecating music.
Yes I want part 2!
I posted it
…it changes perspective…the goal was to make you question…everything
Yeah, potato!! We care about you too!!
If your looking to write something vivid, and rather disturbing. You are a success.
I like the change in perspective. I assume the lady in question was narrating the previous installment. Is that correct?
That was the goal. I’m demented
Alone part two would just be terrifying, but by giving us a look inside the Lady’s mind in part one, you have shown your readers that there is more to what’s happening than what we can see. I’m not a fan of horror, but having a child who does not know that this situation is far from normal explain things to your readers calmly is effectively bone chilling.
Thank you. I’m a huge fan of horror and honestly I couldn’t sleep for 2 nights because of part 2. 1 night, because my brain thought of it. And the other night when I finally wrote it down.
I’m happy to have positive feedback
I take it you may want part 3.
Warning…there is supposed to be a part 4 that I haven’t been able to come up with yet. Part 3…leaves lose ends. In my opinion
Your own plot ideas are keeping you awake at night? I must say that I’m impressed.
Part 4 is supposed to be “The Darkness”…but I can’t find a way to…make it end well
The darkness is supposed to explain…why the Lady is scared
I have written the part 4…I’m just not happy with it at all. I need to rework it. Therefore, you may not get to read that one, yet
Understood. It took me an extra second to catch the perspective shift in the third part. After the first part I assumed the Lady was subordinate to the faceless individual as she has to wait on him. This shifts that around, he’s serving her. My thoughts naturally gravitated toward the darkness near the end of the third part. That is really the most fascinating element at this point in the story. The child eating monster is afraid of the dark. She’s staying within a seemingly everyday boundary just like the child (in the child’s case a bedroom, in the Lady’s case the streetlight) to ward off a danger. The real question is why is the darkness a danger to the Lady, is it even worse than she is? Or is the darkness the hero of the story. I prefer the second option, as I’m a sucker for a happy ending.
…should I post my part 4 that i…am not entirely satisfied with?
I don’t know. I don’t want to leave the story feeling unsatisfied, but I’m happy to read anything you’ve got.
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