[Jeff Ross]

Dance
(Jawohl!)

[Jeff Ross]

Clarification
(Bitteschön, Kartoffel.)

[Jeff Ross]

That’s what I was thinking of when I wrote it, but I didn’t want to write a full parody and hold myself to rhyme & meter, so I just posted the one verse here.

[Jeff Ross]

Interrobang

[Jeff Ross]

Comforter

[Jeff Ross]

I’d like to teach a giraffe to clap
With perfect coordination
I’d like to play my kazoo to it
And receive a standing ovation

[Jeff Ross]

Elephant

[Jeff Ross]

I think I can look Josiah straight in the eyes, or at least with minimal tilting of my head upwards.

[Jeff Ross]

Tigger
(I would have written “Tiggers”, but then I remembered that there’s only one.)

[Jeff Ross]

Tigers

[Jeff Ross]

Tube many simultaneous posts!

[Jeff Ross]

Unless you’re a photographer.

[Jeff Ross]

Detroit

[Jeff Ross]

Just make sure you shoot with your camera.

[Jeff Ross]

(Pssst, Awkward, your “self” isn’t stupid. You’re one of the wittiest creatures here on the Not-Forum, regardless of how above average height you may be.)

[Jeff Ross]

How would it be better for shipping? Wouldn’t smaller be better?

[Jeff Ross]

Awkward Potato, that was brilliant! But on this thread, where we pretend to be animals, I feel like saying this to Masøn:

[Jeff Ross]

I’m pretty sure I just heard Kevin say “FESTIVAL” when I read Mason’s post.

[Jeff Ross]

I’m pretty sure a “sarcastic punctuation mark” would be handy in modern writing sometimes.

[Jeff Ross]

I’m pretty sure that Josiah is correct on English tonality, but context matters more, especially when trying to communicate via writing.

[Jeff Ross]

Make sure that you poke the holes before the people get into the box, lest you accidentally poke the people while trying to poke the holes.

[Jeff Ross]

I’m pretty sure that post will be one I regret posting.

[Jeff Ross]

I’m pretty sure it depends on contextual information, as English is not a tonal language.

[Jeff Ross]

I thought it was illegal to ship people as if they were packages. They could be harmed and even die if kept confined for prolonged periods of time.

[Jeff Ross]

Here!

[Jeff Ross]

I’m pretty sure “quaint” has a 100% positive connotation, but any of those adjectives could be considered derogatory depending on the individuals involved with the conversation.

[Jeff Ross]

Wouldn’t a carrot stick be considered to have a long neck? I’m not sure what better animal could be contrived to describe someone who identifies as “lanky”.

[Jeff Ross]

How

[Jeff Ross]

I’m pretty sure you could call her “quiet”, “quick”, or “quaint” instead (depending on the individual being described).

[Jeff Ross]

I googled “lanky animal”, and the first picture result was of a baby giraffe gaining its bearings.

[Author]

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