TOPHAT

[Jeff Ross]

From the office of the H.O.W.D.A.R.E.Y.O.U.:

This is an official invitation for Joshua S. to apply to T.O.P.H.A.T. and propose a title of his desire. Comment #31624 on page 13 of this thread lists the current T.O.P.H.A.T. members and ranks (aside from wileycoyote, who only recently received the title of “Official Minstroll”).

[Joshua S.]

Thanks for the invitation Jeff, I accept, and I would like the title of ukulele player. Is their any thing else I need to put in my application?

[Jeff Ross]

Hmmm…Let me see…Congratulations on your membership in TOPHAT, Joshua! You are accepted into the association because you posted on this thread. 🙂 However, there’s more that needs to be discussed regarding your title proposal.

First let’s examine the titles that already exist in TOPHAT:
Standard governmental titles include:
President, Attorney General, Chairman of the Board, Secretary of State, Secretary of Defense, Secretary of the Canadian Treasury

Uniquely TOPHAT titles that are based upon references include:
Official Hug Dealer, Groot the Phantom of the Forum, Holder of Horses, H.O.W.D.A.R.E.Y.O.U., Official Minstroll, Strange Guy who Stands Creepily in the Corner Eating a Pickle on a Stick, She of Many Names

Consequently, Joshua, the rank of “Ukulele Player” is temporarily denied on the grounds that it does not fit within the typical TOPHAT title categories at first Glanz (#DawnPun). There are four possible remedies:
Option 1. Give a good explanation of why the title actually does fit within the categories.
Option 2. Adjust the title to fit more within the recommended title categories.
Option 3. Make a new title proposal.
Option 4. Enjoy being a titleless member of TOPHAT (we do have a few of those, but it’s not a recommended position within the association).

As the Honorary Official Wordsmith, Director And Regent Extraordinaire, Yet Operationally Unobtrusive, I would like to propose some potential ideas that might fit better, based upon my limited interactions with you on the Not-Forum and in Mini-Auxcon Skype sessions:
1. Keeper of the Emoji Pillow
2. Brusher Of Teeth (abbreviated as B.O.T.)
3. Judge Joshua
4. Justice Joshua
5. Secretary of Homeland Security
6. Secretary of Homeschool Security
7. Keeper of Nukes and Ukes

Those are simply my suggestions. Hopefully this helps you, Joshua, to figure out what to propose next as a title for yourself in The Overly Punny Honor Association of Trolls. Other TOPHAT members are welcome to chime in at this time. I think expediency would be appropriate in this circumstance.

[Joshua S.]

Thank you for accepting me into TOPHAT. I like, The Keeper of the Emoji Pillow, I would like to request to have that title please

[Masøn M.]

(Part of it may also be that Bekah is The Mintroll, and has taken the role of musician… However Keeper is just as amazing, and seemingly quite fitting!)

[Bekah]

Ok sorry about the wait guys I didn’t fully read that comment my bad… I don’t know hardly anything about Joshua so I feel unqualified to help with his nickname. It took me quite awhile to earn on after joining the notforum to find a name that suited me. I think we should wait so that his name has more meaning. That is my opinion,

Sincerely
The official Minstroll

[Joshua S.]

I like that idea

[superchris01]

What did I miss in the past year? I’m sure I got explained in a chat room before… But I guess hi? First time visitor. I have officially subscribed for email follow ups. Don’t have time to read the whole thread but probably will late tonight or tomorrow.

[Jeff Ross]

Believe it or not, Bekah, he was around here before I was. However, he’s only recently become very active on the Not-Forum. Before he would wander in and out such that you could miss him if you weren’t paying attention.

[Joshua S.]

I was?

[Bekah]

I believe it but I’m talking not forum and you’ve technically been more active and put ALOT of work into this

[Joshua S.]

That’s true he’s defiantly been more active that me

[Jeff Ross]

In this case, I definitely have been defiantly more active than you.

[Joshua S.]

Agreed

[Jeff Ross]

Joshua has requested a re-visiting of the issue regarding his T.O.P.H.A.T. rank. Here is my analysis of the situation:

1. “Keeper of the Emoji Pillow” is now a questionable title because it has been revealed that Awkward Potato has the exact same pillow.
2. “Brusher of Teeth (B.O.T.)” is a questionable title because it has been revealed that other F.A.C.E.s brush their own teeth.
3. & 4. “Judge Joshua” & “Justice Joshua” are questionable because there are no basis for these titles at the moment other than alliteration.
5. “Director of Homeland Security” is more likely due to his “missile launcher” reference in the fancast.
6. “Director of Homeschool Security” is more likely due to his “missile launcher” reference in the fancast.
7. “Keeper of Nukes and Ukes” is more likely due to his “missle launcher” reference in the fancast.
8. “Provider of Ukes and Nukes (P.U.N.)” is a new suggestion based upon his “missle launcher” reference in the fancast.

As you can see, one specific mention in the fancast is my main basis for this title evaluation.

Other F.A.C.E.s are welcome to weigh in on this subject.

[Masøn M.]

To be fair, Attorney General doesn’t have a basis for me, so I think Judge/Justice is still perfectly applicable… And there’s my weigh-in…

[Jeff Ross]

Fair enough…

(which is an awful slogan for a judge that’s running for election)

[AuxCableAngie]

Yup.

[Dawn]

P.U.N.

[Joshua S.]

I like P.U.N

[Joshua S.]

Anyone else want to jump in too? The more feedback the better

[AuxCableAngie]

I am Groot?

[Joshua S.]

Do we take a vote?

[Manalive Smith]

I vote yes. (To both the title and to the idea that we should take a vote). It seems like a perfectly reasonable title, and democracy is great.

[Awkward Potato]

Ah, sorry I keep forgetting to post! I like the P.U.N. title and agree that the democratic process is good.

[Masøn M.]

I vote yes. (To what Manalive said)

[Joshua S.]

But which title are you and manalive referring to Masøn?

[Masøn M.]

P.U.N I believe…

[Joshua S.]

On good I like that one a lot ?

[Jeff Ross]

I think it’s evident that the title of “Provider of Ukes and Nukes (P.U.N.)” is what Joshua’s title should be.

Seeing as the fancast suggested WWIII may be in the near future and such a role would be extremely valuable, I hereby solidify this title as official and update T.O.P.H.A.T.’s ranks as follows:

The Overly Punny Honor Association of Trolls (TOPHAT)
Poulet Frit: President Kristen of TOPHAT
Masøn M.: Attorney General (also “Janitor of the Year” for 2017; he is one of several janitors in the association)
Josiah the Carrot Stick: Chairman of the Board
Brooke AC: Secretary of State
Olive: Member Without Title
Explosive Yeast: Strange Guy who Stands Creepily in the Corner Eating a Pickle on a Stick
Awkward Potato: Official Hug Dealer
Manalive Smith: Secretary of the Canadian Treasury
Ryan Matlock: Implied Member in a Meme, but not officially confirmed
AuxCableAngie: Groot the Phantom of the Forum
Dawn: Polyonymous (Holder of Horses, Secretary of Defense, and She of Many Names)
Jeff Ross: HOWDAREYOU (Honorary Official Wordsmith, Director And Regent Extraordinaire, Yet Operationally Unobtrusive)
wileycoyote: Bekah, the Official Minstroll of TOPHAT
Joshua S.: PUN (Provider of Ukes and Nukes)
SuperChris01: the resident superhero (no formal title has been decided upon)
totally a normal person: “Thumbs” participated on this thread, but was not involved in discussions to officially join the association
Notable F.A.C.E.s who are not technically members of TOPHAT (yet): Matthew, Franklin, Troy, Sarah

I’d consider posting about all of the other honorary guests mentioned in the fancast, but that would potentially give away spoilers. I wish to delay such acknowledgements until May at least, so that there is sufficient time for Kristen to listen to it.

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