Haikus

[Josiah the Carrot Stick]

You could well be right
Perhaps we should consult Josh
Hm hm hm hm hmm…

[Josiah the Carrot Stick]

Josh has just confirmed
That it is spelled “Deshmicious”
You were correct, Jeff!

[Masøn M.]

Hm hm hm hm hm
Seems a little convenient
Wouldn’t you agree?

[Jeff Ross]

‘Tis better to be
Convenient in this case
Than to not “haiku”

[Jeff Ross]

(I counted “convenient” as four syllables instead of three; different dialects pronounce it differently.)

[Josiah the Carrot Stick]

I agree with that
Hm hm hm hm hm hm hm
Hm hm hm hm hm

[Jeff Ross]

Is it possible
To write a haiku pop song?
Just a random thought.

[Awkward Potato]

That’d be intriguing.
If you were to write one, Jeff
I would be impressed

[Masøn M.]

Considering Jeff’s
Insane abilities, I
Wouldn’t be surprised

[Dawn]

We will petition
TOPHAT’S HOWDAREYOU to write
A haiku Pop Song

[Jeff Ross]

Since impressing y’all
Is what I am all about
Here goes my attempt:

(The lyrics are based on this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SNtJp_L5SCE)

“Adler’s in the house!”
My girlfriend broke up with me
Such a sad story

It’s so sad that I
Had writers work overtime
To write me this song

Pop song factory
Making money off my face
Doomed humanity!

Constant partying
My life’s now in a pop song
And I make it rhyme

So relatable
Is this song, you swoon; Itunes
Is where to buy it

Baby, Baby, Bae
Bee I can’t live without you
Just kidding: I can

Anyone else would
Probably do, but I need
To appear desp’rate

You are the culprit
Of this auto-tuned diddy
[Repeat chorus here:]

Constant partying
My life’s now in a pop song
And I make it rhyme

So relatable
Is this song, you swoon; Itunes
Is where to buy it

[The chorus once more
Followed by background music
And Adler dancing]

Time for some rapping!
Want some rapping? Yeah, you do!
Let’s ra-a-a-ap!

This random rap break
In the song, just like bubble
Wrap I pop out songs

Rhyming rules are lax
Because creativity
Is not our trube goal

We just want money!
More more money! More money!
Money! More money!

More Money! Money!
More more money! More money!
[Back to the chorus]

Constant partying
My life’s now in a pop song
And I make it rhyme

So relatable
Is this song, you cry; Don’t stream
It on Spotify

Spotify, no, no
No more spotify. [Close with
Light show and mic drop.]

(That concludes the song.)

So what do you think?
Perhaps I need a tune that’s
Suited for Haiku.

[Jeff Ross]

So the first chorus
Was actu’lly repeated
Sorry for mistake

[Awkward Potato]

That was beautiful…
I am in awe at your skills
At writing haiku

[Jeff Ross]

I guess that is why
Some people may call you “The
Awe-kward Potato” 😀

[Awkward Potato]

Aw yeah! It’s a puuuun!
Tonight my dad called me
Awkward Banana

[Jeff Ross]

Pardon my counting:
“Tonight my dad called me” has
Just six syllables.

[Masøn M.]

‘Twas a beautiful
Haiku song. Quite impressive
Oh great HOWDAREYOU.

[Masøn M.]

The funny thing is
I listened along to it
On my Spotify

[Jeff Ross]

All glory be to
God, who gave me this gift of
Counting syllables

And praise God above
Who brought me up with a large
Vocabulary

Glorify the Lord
Who blessed my mind for linking
The two together

(Perhaps a pop song
Is not what I should have made;
Unless it’s CHRIIIIIISSSTTTIIIAAANNNN)

[Manalive Smith]

I am still alive.
Just, right now I am silent.
So much work to do.

[Manalive Smith]

Math test tomorrow.
Barely keeping up with school.
Someday, I’ll return.

[Manalive Smith]

I am listening.
But for now I cannot post.
Thanks for the hashtag.

[Awkward Potato]

Aww, math is no fun.
Thank you for the update though.
Good luck on your test!

(Yes it’s 3 am
I couldn’t get back to sleep
My cat woke me up.)

[superchris01]

Wait, what do you mean?
Math is awesome, Math is great!
Potato sleep well.

[Masøn M.]

Mario Odyssey
Is also great. Very worth
Ev’ry cent so far.

[superchris01]

Odyssey is great,
Beat the story already,
So much to do still.

[Josiah the Carrot Stick]

Behold, I return
I do not have Odyssey
I’m sure you are shocked.

[Brooke AC]

Life is what God gave
Each of us has our own, ah
Give God His glory!

[Tingle]

I am sick of this
Why did I do this, eh?
Blurgh blurgh blurgh blurgh blurgh.

[Jeff Ross]

Uh, oh, Josiah:
Your haiku needs key context
(Read Brooke’s before yours)

[Author]

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