039: We Answer NOT-Relationship Questions

039: We Answer NOT-Relationship Questions

You know how we’re always getting relationship questions? Well, NOT TODAY. Today we answer not-relationship questions!

We discuss worm death rates, what to do when you’re perfectly happy (mostly) being single, and how to maintain a long-distance friendship.

Question of the Week

How many worms do you think die each year crossing the sidewalk? Back up your conclusions with evidence and let us know on Twitter or in the comment section using the hashtag #FierceCableBeard.


Do you have a question for Ryan and Matthew? Send it to us and it might be answered!

Special thanks to Gabe Miller for our intro and outro music, and to Manalive Smith for supporting Ryan on Patreon.


  1. HEY, EPISODE POSTER, IT’S SPELLED “CORBAN”! (I’ve accidentally spelled his name “Corbin” myself before; quite embarrassing once I learned how his name is pronounced.)

  2. I would like to put in a request for a commercial with “Fierce Beard Ryan” (from this episode) and “Batman Matthew” (from last episode).

  3. “This one doesn’t actually come from Kristen. It comes from… Sleep-deprived Kristen.”
    Oh no

  4. I am generally silent when I have a crush, but that’s mostly because I’m still in high school and have no interest in a relationship at this point. Granted, I have a low opinion of myself anyway.

          1. I completely misread that. Yes, a Carrot-Covered Carrot sounds good.

  5. See my internet friends are great at asking about how my day was. Do I answer helpfully? Nope.

  6. Worms don’t drown, just figured that’s important for everyone know a year later lol

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