You know how we’re always getting relationship questions? Well, NOT TODAY. Today we answer not-relationship questions!
We discuss worm death rates, what to do when you’re perfectly happy (mostly) being single, and how to maintain a long-distance friendship.
How many worms do you think die each year crossing the sidewalk? Back up your conclusions with evidence and let us know on Twitter or in the comment section using the hashtag #FierceCableBeard.
Do you have a question for Ryan and Matthew? Send it to us and it might be answered!
Special thanks to Gabe Miller for our intro and outro music, and to Manalive Smith for supporting Ryan on Patreon.
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It’s here!!
Hooray!
HEY, EPISODE POSTER, IT’S SPELLED “CORBAN”! (I’ve accidentally spelled his name “Corbin” myself before; quite embarrassing once I learned how his name is pronounced.)
The aux tables have been turned… that was probably my favorite part.
I would like to put in a request for a commercial with “Fierce Beard Ryan” (from this episode) and “Batman Matthew” (from last episode).
That’d hilarious.
Like using proper grammar!
I think Matthew should call his book “To Kill a Mockingworm”
*Jeff voice* What a punderful idea!
The Aux Cable Late Night Show – Where the only questions you answer are political questions
concerning Botswana
Yes please.
“This one doesn’t actually come from Kristen. It comes from… Sleep-deprived Kristen.”
Oh
Oh no
This is concerning.
That poodle would have a rEALLY good beard.
“Coming to a theater near you in 2017.”
*checks calendar*
Erm.
Died at Matthew’s hands? Not his feet?
The double-negatives pain me.
I am generally silent when I have a crush, but that’s mostly because I’m still in high school and have no interest in a relationship at this point. Granted, I have a low opinion of myself anyway.
Same.
Note to friends: Giving me chocolate will not get you anywhere.
What about a Chocolate Covered Carrot?
What is this abomination of which you speak
Umm… A Carrot-Covered Carrot?
Good point.
I completely misread that. Yes, a Carrot-Covered Carrot sounds good.
See my internet friends are great at asking about how my day was. Do I answer helpfully? Nope.
What is this abomination of which you speak
Ho-!
(But well played)
Dankeschön!
Bitteschön!
I can attest to that
Oh yes you can.
A what, Masøn?!? What miracle turned the chocolate into more carrot?
(And what miracle moved my reply comment from under the comment it was replying to?)
A wonderful miracle.
(I have no idea)
Genetic modification, that’s how. It’s how everything is done nowadays, right?…
Pretty much.
I’m not sure how effective hair mics would actually be…
Probably not terribly, given the regular movement of the hair.
Worms don’t drown, just figured that’s important for everyone know a year later lol