I paced back and forth. Ryan and Matthew had suggested a butterfly apocalypse. A butterfly apocalypse would ensure that Aaron Tveit and I would be together forever. No one else would be able to take him away. They had discussed the idea of zombie butterflies, but that seemed..too difficult to contain. It would hardly be fitting if I died from the butterflies of my own creation. No, the butterflies would have to carry something easily preventable…
I replayed the episode again. And again. And again. When Ryan got to the part of dust on the butterfly, something clicked.
Dust. Airborne dust, easily stopped by a gas mask. I would capture butterflies and coat them in a toxin. After a brief google search, I settled on Botulinal Toxins, which kills when 1/1000000000 of a gram is inhaled. Best part? Easily derived from an anerobic bacteria. Much easier, and less well known than anthrax. No one would suspect what was happening. Until they are all dead. No one will get between Aaron and I.
So it began. I have spent the last six months capturing butterflies and deriving the botulinal toxins. I sent a gas mask to the Tveit residence. Hopefully he’ll understand what it’s for. Tomorrow, the butterfly apocalypse will begin.
I looked into the mirror as I brushed my teeth. Eyes filled with determination stared into my own; my steely gaze unsettled me. “You aren’t wavering now,” I told myself. “We’ll be happy…right?” Shaking aside my doubts, I set my gas mask on my face. Then, I descended to the basement. My beautiful butterflies fluttered to and fro in their little cages, oblivious to their deadly purpose. I turned on the machine. And the butterflies became the world’s end.
I set them free. Now it is time to wait.
I LOVE IT!!!!!!
Aaron is bae!!!!!! (I don’t use that word irl)
Did you know that butterflies have a habit of not crossing oceans? And not being very fast? This whole thing is ridiculous! Not one person has fallen ill, because the blasted bacteria are anaerobic, which means when exposed to air/oxygen…THEY DIE!
Ryan and Matthew, I blame you. Come up with a better and more containable way for the butterfly apocalypse to occur. This has been an absolute failure. And Aaron and I are no closer than before…
Oh, try THAT for a conversation starter! “oh yea, I tried to murder the world so we could be together.” “Umm….what?” “Never mind, you don’t need to know.” *awkward laugh*
Yesss!!! Knowing me that would totally actually happen!!
Hahahahahah this is hilarious! Love it!
Wow. I could NEVER guess that Dawn is going to be a biology major.
I thought she was going to be an autotune major… wait, that’s me.
Did my stupid question inspire a fan fic?… I can die peacefully now…
BROOKE LIKE THIS.
HELLO, FRIENDS. I SHALL RETURN TOMORROW.
This was awesome! ROFL
IT’S CHRISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS(TIANNNNNNN -Kevin McCreary)
YESS!!!! brooke just made me choke on air!!
Hahaha, don’t choke, Kristen!!!!
You know the rules
Hey could someone give me a full rundown of this butterfly apocalypse I never really understood it,
My first question I ever sent into the podcast asked what to do in the event of a butterfly apocalypse. That’s basically it lol.
And then Ryan and Matthew had suggested the Butterfly Apocalypse as a solution to another thing.
I might end up writing a short story for a class based on the butterfly apocalypse.
I’m not coming up with a good butterfly-related pun to respond with, and that bugs me… but it’s neat that you might be able to transform an Aux Cable reference into a story for school.
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