My original intent was to simply write “Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!” in this space, but then the phrase caused me to look up “A Visit from St. Nicholas”. Naturally, reading such a brilliant piece of art inspired me to imitate it, so I delayed my slumber and composed the following parody:
‘Twas the night before AuxCon, when no F.A.C.E. could sleep
Not a creature was stirring, nor making a peep
The smart phones were placed on the nightstands with care
In hopes that their alarms would soon start to blare
The creatures were nestled all snug in their beds
While visions of word games danced in their heads
And Ryan in his Beanie, and Matt in his Tuque
Had just settled their brains for a night without spook
When on the Not-For’m there arose such a clatter
I looked at my phone to see what was the matter
Away to the browser I flew like a flash
Opened up more tabs, on my screen I did mash
The moon that reflected upon my window
Gave little help to enhance my screen’s vibrant glow
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear
But a thund’rous noise: The Day fin’ly here!
With a swift swipe of my phone, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment I hadn’t slept a lick
More rapid than hawks, to AuxCon F.A.C.E.s came
And I whistled and shouted and called them by name:
“Now Kristen! Now Franklin! Now Manalive and Dawn!
On Josiah! On Rebekah! On Brooke” (and so on…)
“To the identification station! Don’t stall!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!”
As fast as lightning did Angie verify
While F.A.C.E.s discussed nacreous clouds in the sky
So then, when all present, the conf’rence began
With customary greetings and shaking of hands
And then in a twinkling, I heard at the door
A knocking and yelling from one person more
As I drew in my hand from shaking another
The AuxCon hosts let in the dear Christian brother
He was dressed in a shirt from his neck to his waist
And his shirt indicated to us his good taste
A bundle of games was flung on his back
And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack
His countenance so bright! His eyes- how they glistened!
The image of a man on his shirt said “IT’S CHRIIIIIIIISSSTTTTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIAAAAAANNNN”
His name written down was spelled like this: “Masøn”
And the beard of his chin had been freshly shaven
The effects of toothpaste shown on his teeth
And the smell, it encircled his breath like a wreath
He held a straight face, and with a heart full of glee
That man caused a laugh when he said this pun to me:
“When they are chubby and plump, as much as allow’d
Two raindrops are company, but three are a cloud.”
A wink of his eye and a nod of his head
Reassured me that I had nothing to dread
Then AuxCon began, and we all went to work
At making memories and enjoying each perk
That came along with having well-built rapport
Each perquisite gave e’en more joy than before!
Then AuxCon was done, its conclusion was reached
And away we all went, with many farewells screeched.
But I heard them exclaim as they drove out of sight-
“It was good to see y’all! We’ll do this again, right?”
I’m sure you could write a better parody upon reading the original poem (and feel free to do so; I really like the style of the original poem), but this is what I came up with short-notice. I tried to match as much of the original rhymes, wordings, and meter as possible, but I took plenty of liberties where convenient.
Merry Christmas, Fanatical Aux Cable Enthusiasts!
.
