Feedback On A Short Film (And Participation In My Next Video)

Feedback On A Short Film (And Participation In My Next Video)

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Viewing 21 posts - 1 through 21 (of 21 total)
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  • #19440
    riseofthekumquat
    Participant

    So late last year/early this year, I had the opportunity to compete in the 10-10-10 screenwriting/filmmaking competition at the Santa Barbara International Film Festival. I had to write a ten page script, I got paired up with another local college student who had to turn that script into a short film that was 10 minutes or less and was given only ten days to film the short (hence the name “10-10-10”). The short is titled “You, Me & Me” and it’s about this guy who goes back in time to stop himself from asking a girl out (and all the insanity that comes as a result).

    So why am I making this thread? Well, the short film is finally online and I’m doing two videos about it on my channel. The first one (going up tonight) is all about the experience that I had making the script vs watching the final product and next week I’m going to be reviewing it. This is the first short film I’ve reviewed that I’ve personally been involved in, so both to avoid coming off as biased and to make the video feel a little bit more open and conversational than usual, I’ll be answering any questions on the film or what went into making the story as well as talking about the differences between the script and the final cut of the film.

    So if anyone’s interested, I’m looking for questions, comments, or general feedback to respond to in the review. The more oddly specific, the better. Go ahead and comment below (not on Vimeo though, that’s the director’s account).

    https://vimeo.com/218865138

    #19447
    Masøn M.
    Participant

    Overall, I thought it was great! Definitely well done, considering the conditions for it. I think my favorite part about it was definitely the ending. While I was watching it, I knew he was going to end up going to her by the end. But the conversation between to two of them in the house in the actual end… It was really well done, I think. It was a pleasant surprise. It wasn’t a twist per se, but it wasn’t what I saw coming.
    As well as that, I liked the chocolate scene as well. I figured that she was actually gonna be allergic to coconut or something, but, obviously, it wasn’t so. And that’s one of the things I liked about this. It was relatively predictable, but at the same time, the process to get to that predictable outcome is totally random and fun.

    So, after that, I have a question for you. How did you like the way your story was executed? Did you think the actors portrayed the image you had in your mind, or did you feel like it perhaps could have been a little better? Also, was the final product better than what you were imagining, or not quite there?..

    #19448
    riseofthekumquat
    Participant

    So in the part one video (still going up tonight, I swear), I mentioned that the entire third act had to be rewritten because they ran out of time. There was another twist at the end that I’ll talk about more in detail and the actual ending didn’t hold on the emotional bit the entire way through. The ending was more about not letting indecisiveness rule you and the idea that problems don’t just go away with time; although I do like what they were going for with this ending.
    As far as acting, I like what the main lead brought. I think given how difficult the whole playing two characters thing was, he did a solid job. I just wish he had gotten through his delivery quicker. So much of the mid-first and second acts rely on rolling through everything at an exhausting pace, not only so that everything could fit in under 10 minutes but also so that we can understand the fatigue that Sam is going through even before we hit the montage.

    #19450
    Dawn
    Guest

    @7:15 Why are there two clocks on the wall?
    @7:21 Better yet, why are there three clocks in the same room?

    AWWW the ending’s so cute!! I love it!

    And the soundtrack is perfect!

    #19461
    Josiah the Carrot Stick
    Guest

    I will watch this later when I have time…

    #19492
    riseofthekumquat
    Participant

    Sorry, it took a while due to technical difficulties to get the Part 1 video up. Here it is.

    #19493
    Josiah the Carrot Stick
    Guest

    Ooh, cool. I shall try to watch it tonight…

    #19494
    Masøn M.
    Participant

    I was gonna leave a comment –

    “I’ve always wondered what a salty kumquat would taste like… ;)”… But I didn’t think it would be… Desired…

    #19495
    riseofthekumquat
    Participant

    I get what you were going for, but yeah, I don’t know about that one…

    #19496
    Josiah the Carrot Stick
    Guest

    Heh.

    #19506
    JFF
    Guest

    That short film was so, sweet,cute, and funny. I love the time travel storyline!😆

    #19528
    Josiah the Carrot Stick
    Guest

    Hmm…

    #19635
    riseofthekumquat
    Participant

    What is it Carrot?

    #19640
    Josiah the Carrot Stick
    Guest

    It is a prounoun.

    #19658
    Josiah the Carrot Stick
    Guest

    Not bad. Pretty entertaining.

    #20738
    riseofthekumquat
    Participant

    The review is online! I kinda-sorta answered Mason and Dawn’s questions in it.

    #20750
    Josiah the Carrot Stick
    Guest

    Cool!

    #33926
    Brooke AC
    Guest

    YOU

    #34444
    Tingle
    Guest

    Place and

    #40776
    Jeff Ross
    Participant

    #19640 *pronoun

    #44922
    Jeff Ross
    Participant

    I wonder when the next video from Rise Of The Kumquat will be…

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