Alternate Openings For The Show

Alternate Openings For The Show

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This topic contains 30 replies, has 7 voices, and was last updated by  Verified Fangirl Darling (Shay) 7 months, 3 weeks ago.

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    “Hey! Listen to this cool, hip, rad song man.”
    “No way man, we’re A S S I M I L A T I N G _ I N T O _ T H E _ S I N G U L A R I T Y _ E N G I N E instead!”
    “Wait, what?”
    “Here just give me your free-will, R E S I S T A N C E _ I S _ F U T I L E _ H U M A N.”
    “The Hive-Mind Cable has been plugged in and now so are you-”
    “S I L E N C E _ H U M A N!”

    *45 minutes of no talking as Gabe’s intro music plays on a loop, gradually, ever so slightly getting louder and louder*


    Josiah the Carrot Stick

    That would be hilarious.


    Josiah the Carrot Stick

    “Hey, listen to this cool hip rad song, man!’
    “No way man, you’re just going to play that stupid Taylor Swift song.”
    “Wait, which one?”
    “Just give me the Aux Cable.”

    *Never Gonna Give You Up starts playing


    Awkward Potato

    I could totally see that last one happening next April Fool’s day.


    Josiah the Carrot Stick

    I know, right?


    Josiah the Carrot Stick

    “Hey Kumquat.”
    “Would you mind voting on the March FACEoff? It’s the championship so I’m trying to get as many votes as possible.”

    …to be continued…


    Poulet Frit

    I didn’t know we could campaign!!!
    I thought…like telling people to vote for us fell under the threatening their lives rule!


    Josiah the Carrot Stick

    I’m not telling him who to vote for, I’m simply asking him to vote.


    Josiah the Carrot Stick

    I would say that’s campaigning for voter registration, not myself.


    Poulet Frit

    Maybe I read “I’m trying to get as many votes as possible” wrong.


    Josiah the Carrot Stick

    Well, I mean I do want people to vote for me… but I’d like more people to vote in general.


    Josiah the Carrot Stick

    …and I’m not specifically asking people to vote for me. That would be true campaigning.


    Poulet Frit

    I’d rather votes in general as well


    Josiah the Carrot Stick



    Poulet Frit



    Josiah the Carrot Stick



    Brooke AC

    Any other guy


    Josiah the Carrot Stick

    I ain’t


    Jeff Ross

    “Hey, listen to this cool, hip, rad song, man!”
    [“All I Want for Christmas Is a New Aux Cable Episode” plays.]
    “You’re right, Ryan, that was a cool, hip, rad song. Kind-of makes me long for the days when we churned out a new podcast episode every week.”
    “Me too. Too bad we don’t have time any more to edit new episodes.”
    “Yeah, that is too bad.
    [three second awkward pause]
    Hey, Ryan?”
    “Yes, Matthew?”
    “Do you think we could make time, you know, just this once, to make this Christmas wish come true?”
    “Well…maybe we could…”
    “Here, here. Just give me the Aux Cable; you’ll love it.”

    “The Aux Cable has been plugged in, and now so are you.”
    “I am?”
    “Oh, okay. Sweet!”

    “Coming up in this episode: We got snowed in so we have nothing better to do than make a podcast for you!”
    “It’s a seven hour long special. There are just so many questions to answer and we have time to kill.”
    “You think we should break this up and release it as multiple episodes?”
    “That might actually be a good idea…”
    “…but we aren’t going to do that because that would be too much editing. This week, ON THE AUX CABLE!”

    *Theme music plays*

    “Welcome to the Aux Cable! The show where we get you plugged in to advice on everything!”
    “And this time we mean it literally because seven hours is a lot of time to fill. I’m Ryan Matlock”
    “And I’m Matthew Bird”
    “And Christmas is officially here for everyone who has been anticipating our return to the airwaves.”
    “Are we really doing a seven hour episode, Ryan?”
    “Only if it takes us that long to answer every single question, Matthew. Maybe it will be done in three hours, maybe ten. We’ll just have to see how long it takes.”
    “Of course the listener can just look on the website to see how long the episode is.”
    “That’s true. They already know how long the episode is.”
    “They know if we are joking or if we’re serious.”
    “Especially if they’re listening on an iphone. They know if we’re Siri-ous.”
    “Haha, good one, Ryan. I give it a 10 out of 10”
    “Because the iphone ten recently released”
    “A very timely pun, Matthew. Be sure to “watch” out for more timely puns throughout this episode.”
    “I see what you did there.”
    “This is episode 037 of the podcast. Matthew, how are you doing?”


    Josiah the Carrot Stick



    Jeff Ross

    Thank you; hopefully Ryan and Matthew think the same thing.


    Poulet Frit

    I’m not crying a little.
    I just really miss new episodes.





    Jeff Ross

    I’d really enjoy a new episode, alternate opening or not.


    Milk Monster

    I think they should open with drinking a glass of milk


    Jeff Ross

    I wonder if the show will open differently after Ryan is married…


    But, like… Will it still be the same??



    I suspect “Hey, listen… …oh, ok sweet” will stay the same, but other things could hypothetically be altered.



    Maybe putting wedding bells as the intro


    Josiah the Carrot Stick

    That would be hilarious.

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