Once Upon a Time, Part 1

[Awkward Potato]

(“What is a fire and how does it…what’s the word? Burn?”)

[Josiah the Carrot Stick]

(We’re so off topic.)

[Poulet Frit]

(Yep)

[Josiah the Carrot Stick]

(Hopefully Mason will revive it.)

[Masøn M.]

(I’ll try after dinner)

[Josiah the Carrot Stick]

(*rubs hands excitedly*)

[Jeff Ross]

(I wanted to interject quick and say that I just copied all of the story into a word document and read it straight through without knowing who wrote which section, trying to enjoy it as if one author penned the work at once. I do think that introducing “Time Lords” is an interesting way to bypass the story’s original premise of “This tale takes place in a time of dragons, knights, kings, queens, and outhouses.” So far, this story doesn’t have a dragon, knight, king, queen, or outhouse in it at all. Not that it needs those things, but it is fascinating to observe how quickly a story can digress when it is developed using this “anyone who wants can write the next part” format.)

[Poulet Frit]

(I think it’s strangely beautiful how all of our different mindsets, writing styles, and thought processes have come together)

[wileycoyote]

( I love it all though I may feel a licorice dragon coming here soon… maybe the time lords thug threw me off so I gotta think though)

[Masøn M.]

The shout came from Josiah. “Attention all passengers, we here at Snowglobal Airlines apologize for the slight inconvenience. Our technicians are working hard to revert the shrinking and also to make sure we land safely. We greatly appreciate your patience.”

Peter walked up to Josiah who was digging through the now giant snowman. “Are you close to fixing your stupid mistake?”

“Well, if I reroute these wires here, and cut these wires here, and tape these wires here… I’m sorry, did you say something?”

“WHEN ARE WE GETTING OUT OF THIS FLIPPING SNOWGLOBE. CARLOS AND ROBECCA ARE STILL MISSING, WE ARE 1 INCH TALL, AND I AM FRANKLY LOSING MY MIND!”

“Ah yes, well. I should have this fixed quite soon. I just… Need the system to reboot…”

“And how long will that take?”

“Well, considering it’s running on Windows…”

“What in the butterf– I mean in the… err… world… is that?”

“Never mind me, basically it’ll take a long time…”

Peter looked around. Dawn was sitting down, glowing and seemingly deep in thought, Mason looked confused and was looking around cluelessly, and Carrot was digging through the large wires in the bottom-most snow sphere. “How did I get sucked into this?” he thought to himself. It was then when he realized that he hadn’t slept in… Well, he didn’t actually know how many hours had passed, but he knew it’d be more than a day. He suddenly felt drowsy and simply collapsed into the soft, squishy snow.

When he woke up it was dark. Like, abnormally dark. And cold. Considering they had been in a snow globe, it’d never actually been cold… But now… His eyes adjusting to the darkness, he stood up and looked around. Josiah was curled in a ball, snoring. Mason was rolling around, looking seemingly uncomfortable in the incredibly soft snow, and Dawn had covered herself in a blanket of snow. It hadn’t really been this peaceful since he’d left, and he figured that he should cherish this moment. He’d give anything to play some music right about now. That always calmed him down. And it always made other people feel good too.

A bright green light began flashing all throughout the globe. Josiah popped up quicker than you could say ‘hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia’.

“IT’S READY!” he screamed! “EVERYONE UP, EVERYONE UP!”

It was a big kerfuffle as everyone scrambled to get up and get close.

“Now remember how it was before we’d all been shrunk. We need to get in the same position as we were in before, otherwise someone may break through the glass and we’d rip a hole in space-time, not to mention having us all suffocate and die a miserable, painful death. I’m pressing the button on 3.”

“Wait, if we’re not in the same position…”

“1!”

“Wait, wait let’s make sure everything is right…”

“2!”

“JOSIAH, HOLD ON LET’S MAKE SURE WE…”

“5!”

He pressed the button and there was a flash of blinding light. They all looked at each other and themselves, making sure everything was alright.

“Man, I’m glad that actually worked,” said Josiah.

“What do you mean, was there a chance it wouldn’t!?!” yelled Peter.

“Well, you know, it could have mutated all our bodies, switched our personalities, or even just have made us implode… But hey, none of that happened, so let’s not dwell on the past!”

“I… I just can’t… I’m not even gonna… Just no…”

“Now to land this baby!” exclaimed an excited Josiah.

He pressed buttons, pulled on the snowman’s arms, whispered into the snowman’s button eyes for some reason, and did some other weird stuff. When he was done, he looked around and said, “Brace yourself. I’ve never had a soft landing in this thing before.”

They all just stared at him. And braced themselves. The ship dipped and twisted and turned. It flipped, it wobbled it churned. And finally, the black space outside turned into a blue sky. The horizon was replaced with trees and grass. And the ship braked suddenly. They all slammed into the glass and into each other. The glass broke and they all rolled in the dirt.

“Smooth,” Mason said, sarcastically.

“Surprisingly, yes, that is my best landing to date.”

“Well, you mentioned before that you never knew where we could end up when this thing landed. Any idea where we could possibly be?” asked Dawn.

“Well, considering the fact that Mason and Peter are still alive and breathing, I’d assume we’re still on their home planet, which is quite lucky to be honest. Almost unbelievable… Almost…”

“Well, I s’pose that’s a good thing,” replied Peter.

“Uhh, guys?” said Mason, a few feet away.

“Yes, it certainly is. Would have been a shame if you two died.”

“Guys?” said Mason again.

“I’m glad you care so much for us, Josiah,” Peter said, rolling his eyes.

“GUYS!” Mason yelled.

“What?” they all said simultaneously, looking in his direction.

“There’s a girl in these bushes… She’s… She’s knocked out…”

They walked over to look, and sure enough, there she was. She was probably no younger than 13. She had dark brown hair and strangely deep green eyes. (Ignore the fact that her eyes are closed because she’s knocked out, okay… Just let me describe her in peace…). The strangest thing, however, was the tattoo on her forearm. It was a green eye, just like her’s, but across it read ‘Triste Kedeth Nels’.

The girl abruptly sat up, screaming, sweating, and crying. She looked around at the strangers, backing away as quickly as she could, but her weak arms collapsed beneath her. “P-please don’t hurt me! Please! I didn’t do anything, I swear! Please!”

Mason felt a strange sympathy toward the girl. He thought back to when he had first met this band of misfits, only hours, but seemingly months ago.

“Don’t worry,” Dawn said in a soothing voice, “we aren’t going to hurt you. I’m Dawn, this is Peter, Josiah, and Mason. We’ve just… Err… Landed, and we were wondering if you could tell us where we are.”

“Y-you’re… you’re in Gerudo Valley. Kind of a misleading title, considering it’s no longer a valley. It used to be inhabited by a warrior race, but they’re just legend now. No one really knows what happened to the valley, some people say the floor of the valley rose and became even with the rest of the terrain. Nonetheless, we honor our heritage and keep its original name.”

Josiah had a weird look about him, almost a combination of awe and confusion, with a tinge of happiness, but he kept it hidden quite nicely.

“Where are… Do you have… parents?” asked Dawn.

She looked down and didn’t respond.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have… Would you at least mind telling us your name?”

She simply pointed to that tattoo on her forearm. The gang obviously should have realized it was her name.

“Triste, then. Well Triste, it appears the sun may be going down soon, do you have somewhere to stay?”

“You looking at it,” she said sorrowfully.

“You could maybe tag along with us for a little while. Show us around, help us out… It’d also be nice to have another girl in the group, honestly.”

“I really don’t have any reason to say no…”

“Then it’s settled. You’re coming with us!” Dawn said with a soft smile. There was something about this girl that made Dawn feel… At home… Nostalgic, almost.

“Where are we off to first, then?” asked Peter, stepping into the conversation.

Triste pointed to a small village that you could barely make out. “There. We’ll start there. Also, we’ll hit the lake on the way there. Y’all stink.”

They all examined themselves, and realized they were all covered in dust, and also realized it’d been forever since they’d showered… And had a meal…

“Is there anywhere to, you know, eat?” asked Peter, now feeling weak.

“The lake,” she said with a slight smirk.

“Then I guess we go there first,” Peter said, looking around at the crew. He had this strange sensation in his gut. He pushed it off as hunger, but part of him just felt wrong… He didn’t pay much attention to it, though. He just wanted to eat. So they began their journey.

(Alrighty, long? Yes. Again? Yes. Too long? Probably. Sidenote… I have someone plans with “Triste”… I’ve hidden clues… Kind of obvious, imo, but, you know… Basically, I know this sounds jerkish, but try not to, like, kill her off or do anything major with her ;). Anywho, I’ve tried to carry on the story a bit… Please enjoy… And discover Triste’s mysteries… :P)

[Jeff Ross]

We interrupt this fantastical tale to bring you an important message:

“Hi, I’m Ryan Matlock. Are you looking for love but are tired of not finding success on dating websites? Frustrated from asking people out on a date only to have them give you the cold shoulder? Disappointed when your crush hasn’t responded to any of your 943 direct messages? Well wander alone no more with the Infatuation Station™! For just $16 per week, you can have unlimited access to our patented, luxurious, state-of-the-art kiosk that lets you meet people as desperate for love as you are. Here’s how it works: Sign up over the phone with your credit card information and address, and we’ll make sure that the Infatuation Station™ is as far away from your place of residence as possible. Download our app for iphone or android to locate where the Infatuation Station™ is at any particular moment. Fly across oceans, trek over mountains, forage through the wilderness, or walk down the street until you reach your destination station. Then we’ll pair you up with someone who was just as much of a sucker as you are…I mean just as dedicated to the concept of true love as you are. Once you have a match, you will be sent a Facebook friend request so that you two can be friends on Facebook. Then go home and stalk away, totally loving the fact that someone as crazy as you are took the time to send you a friend request. Once you’ve learned enough about that person to know that you won’t want to date them, come on back and we’ll pair you up with someone new. Who knows? You might even find someone that you’re remotely interested in. Plus you’ll have visited a new nation station, traveled by various means of transportation station, and felt jubilation station by the time you reach the kiosk.

And, if you call in within the next 16 seconds, we’ll let you download the app for free! That’s right, the app will be free. This app not only lets you locate the Infatuation Station™, but it also gives you discounts for Ryanair plane tickets, which you can use if your journey leads you to Europe. So what are you waiting for? Call today, and don’t let procrastination station keep you from reaching your dreams with the Infatuation Station™.”

Announcer: Call 1-888-555-SCAM to sign up for the Infatuation Station™ now! Meeting your new Facebook friends in-person is not guaranteed. We are not responsible for any headache, heartache, hassle, expense, or donkeys that you encounter from trying to locate the kiosk.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled fantastical tale, already in progress.

(This commercial was inspired by the “Kristen’s potential love interest” chatter that took place after Dawn’s memory scene. Masøn seemed to set up the story perfectly for a commercial break.)

[Poulet Frit]

(Mason, I flipping love that!!!!)
(Jeff, I flipping love that!!!!!!)
(Basically this is one of my favorite things to ever happen on the forum)

[Masøn M.]

(Yeah, pretty much Kristen. You just have… A way with words, Jeff…)

[wileycoyote]

As they started their journey towards the lake they noticed how lush and green it was becoming, more and more as they neared it. Triste said that the her people believe the lake has magic properties in it that keep the land so fresh and alive around it. She said the strange thing was it didn’t effect the people who drank from it as far as they could tell but the animals who drank from it became bigger and stronger.

As they walked along Peter could sense someone staring at him, as if they were being watched, he tried brushing it off. He had been uncomfortable about this place and about Triste since they arrived. Suddenly he heard a noise in the bush behind him but no one else noticed so he again decided to brush it off, not realizing he would regret it later.

Mason began sniffing the air,” It smells so amazing here, like honey or something, mmmm”

Everyone drew in a deep breath. ” this place is cool!” Said Josiah.

They finally reached a lake, except they weren’t the only ones there. There was a group of people filling buckets of water at the shore. The water was a bright blue that looked so pure and clean. The people drawing water looked very confused. One of the men came over and started to scold Triste.

” why do you bring these people here! Are you trying to put our village in danger!! You know we have been hidden and now you bring strangers into our midst! They cannot ever leave here now alive so they cannot tell of our land!” He turned to Peter” you! Are you the leader! Did you hear me! If you ever try to leave here you and your people will die!”

The man returned to his group and they left soon after. Triste started to cry. As Dawn started to comfort her a large animal emerged from the bushes. Peter braced himself for an attack but as soon as he did he realized what it was…

” ITS SO FLUFFY IM GONNA DIE!!!! ” Said Josiah!

” is that a ” Dawn started.

” Giant Bunny!?!?!” Mason finished.

” Everyone RUN!!” Exclaimed Triste and they all ran for the village……

[Awkward Potato]

(Both of those are absolutely amazing and beautiful and deserve awards in my opinion. This seems to be further confirmation that Jeff should be speechwriter.)

[Josiah the Carrot Stick]

(Jeff and Mason, those were superb. You too, Wiley.)

[wileycoyote]

( thank you! Thank you! Ta daaaaa!!!)

[Josiah the Carrot Stick]

(TINGLE TINGLE KOOLOO LIMPAH)

[wileycoyote]

(Okkkk hey when are you gonna add the the story Josiah Carrot ? you haven’t in awhile… just sayin’)

[Awkward Potato]

(NOOOOOOOOOOO CARROT)

[Josiah the Carrot Stick]

(No idea.)
(YEEEESSSSSSSSS POTATOOOOOOOOO)

[wileycoyote]

(YESSSS potato sorry I agree with carrot ? lol)

[Awkward Potato]

( *gasp* she’s gone over to the dark side!)

[Josiah the Carrot Stick]

(*Tingle side)

[Awkward Potato]

(Whatever. But that’s not fair of you! She doesn’t even know what Tingle is.)

[Josiah the Carrot Stick]

(How do you know?)

[Awkward Potato]

(I don’t know why she would. I don’t even know if it means anything outside of the notforum.)

[Josiah the Carrot Stick]

(It does indeed.)

[wileycoyote]

Haha I know now she texted me lol! And she knows because we’ve been best friends for ten years !!

[Awkward Potato]

(You forgot your parentheses, Wiley. 😉 )

[Author]

Posts